This week was very, interesting. It was actually kind of a hard week, one of the hardest that I've had in a long time. While pondering about my time and the hard periods I've passed through during my mission, I have noticed that what I was feeling this week is a whole different story than what I have gone through before. At the beginning of my mission I would feel sad for myself- that I can't speak Spanish, that I don't like the food, that I don't know the lessons, that there's a lot of dirt... haha but this last week we had to leave a family we have been working with for a long time because they are not willing to change, even though they KNOW that what we have been teaching is true. We were also supposed to have a baptism this last Saturday but it fell through and now the man is not answering our calls (and told us that he wasn't going to show up to his baptism with a text!) due to family problems from people who reject the church. Another woman we have been teaching with her son can not get married without her husbands consent and every thing seemed to pile on top of us at once. I have a little paper above my desk that says "Do you love me? Then feed my sheep". I remember starting to cry, feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, as I have let a lot of people down- including myself, the Lord, and my mission president. I prayed that through the atonement, I could feel better to be able to leave and have the Spirit, because I didn't feel like I wanted to leave to work that afternoon and my mind just felt very... heavy. After the prayer (and changing my clothes to be in happier colors- I put on the brightest skirt and sweater I have!) I felt complete relief from what I was feeling before. I felt the approval of the Lord and the peace of mind that even though I was still upset, I didn't feel weighed down or guilty.
But the week wasn't all bad- it was funny because hermana Llerena and I always roll our eyes secretly and laugh about how the people here are so proud of macchu picchu and la cultura peruana. We were eating lunch and hearing another story/debate about who built macchu picchu. We started talking about how it was probably the lamanites and the hermano that we were eating with said that he thought it was the Gadianton robbers that lived in the woods. We said that it would've been impossible because they were lazy and didn't work. He said "no, todos los ociosos se fueron a norte america!" or all of the lazy ancient people went to north america. Then he looked at me and went red when he realized that I understood and was listening. We all just laughed and shook our heads. We also had interviews and room checks with Presidente and Hermana Godfrey, she gave us yoga mats and pilates workouts to do. I love yoga! and haven't done it since college. I am definitely not as flexible as I was before.... haha There was another man we talked to who asked if my companion was from Brasil. We asked why and he said "because she is also struggling to learn spanish right?" we laughed so hard because she has just had too much time with a gringa!! All of my poorly worded phrases have rubbed off on her hahaha I hope you have a good week and send me tons of pictures from Kennas wedding!! :,)